Sleep, and Other Things I've Heard Of

In a lot of ways, I am a pretty relaxed Mom.  I’m not one to stage a dinnertime showdown with my kids over uneaten vegetables, I don’t have a colorful chore chart for them to adhere to every day, and I certainly don’t clock the time they spend watching TV or movies.  Instead, I tend to run a lot of things by feeling and basic judgement – if they’ve eaten some vegetables, I’m pretty happy.  As long as they do what chores I ask them to do when I ask them to do it, then we’re good.  And if I sense their brain cells dying a slow and painful death on the living room couch, then off goes the TV.

There is, however, one area where I am pretty strict:  sleep and bedtime.  This is especially true of my newborns, which brings me to a description of what my last 11 days/nights have been like.  I’m not worried about you thinking I’m crazy – I’ve had several other moms tell me that they think I’m nuts, and some even challenge my maternal instinct, but I have a formula that works for me, and I’m sticking with it.

Here are my rules for sleeping babies, from 1 day old and upward:  you do not sleep in my bed, you do not sleep in my room.  You have a nice, cozy, perfectly safe bed in your own nice, cozy, perfectly safe room.  This, of course, requires certain sacrafices of a new mom, which I am fortunately able to perform without too much resulting insanity.

See, I understand that it’s probably easier at night to just bring the baby into your bed and nurse them back to sleep, consequently allowing you to also catch some zzzz’s.  But I would rather bring the baby to the living room, where it is quiet and softly lit, and nurse the baby in what I consider to be “neutral territory.”  No one is being woken up by me feeding him, burping him, changing him.  It is a place where just he and I can visit for a bit.  And best yet, when he’s ready to fall back asleep, I return him to his room, I return to my spot to sleep, and we meet back in the middle the next time he needs to feed.

Now, until we get onto a really strong routine, I’ve been sleeping on the couch in the living room – basically so I could get used to hearing the cry of a baby at night again.  Also because the boys sleep with their door shut and I sleep with my door shut, and until I have a monitor, I’m nervous about not hearing Elijah cry through two doors.  I think by the start of next week I’ll be ready (with monitor) to be back in my own bed, which will be nice.  Until then, though, I feel like this plan is working, just like it worked with my other babies.  He eats, burps, we visit, and I lay him back down to bed.  I don’t have to hold him in order for him to stay asleep, I don’t have to scoot my husband over to make way for the baby.  I just feel like it’s a way for me to care for my child without confusing my space with his space, and in the end it makes for a pretty good sleeper (as has been shown with my other 4 kids).

Speaking of good sleepers, I’m also very proud of my 6yr old son, Isaac.  As we’ve been adjusting to the baby, I’ve had Isaac sleeping in his sisters’ room.  Just last night, though, we moved Isaac back to his room that he will share with Elijah.  I gave Isaac two instructions:  (1) be quiet so you don’t wake the baby, and (2) ignore the baby when he does wake up.  I told him that at nighttime, it’s Mommy’s job to take care of baby.  Sure enough, whenever I needed to get Elijah last night, Isaac was still out cold.  I asked Isaac this morning about how he slept, and he seemed totally oblivious to any of Elijah’s squeeks or cries.  I really think we’re on our way to successful nights!

You might also enjoy these related posts from Tree, Root, and Twig:

1. Go To Sleep, Little Creep
2. So This is What Comes from Cooperation?
3. Here's Hoping (::Fingers Crossed::)

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