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How to Get Your Husband to Dial 911

Posted by on Feb 2, 2008 in Motherhood | 5 comments
  1. Wake up at 4:30am to the sound of the baby crying.
  2. Get baby up and take him downstairs.
  3. Feed baby and spend some sweet snuggle time with him.
  4. Quietly mind your own business while baby gets sleepy enough to put back to bed.

Meanwhile….in your bedroom…

  • husband wakes up to the sound of movement downstairs (NOTE:  he can hear something one floor below, but *not* the sound of the baby through the monitor.  a little suspicious if you ask me!)
  • husband does not bother to check next to him to see if you are in bed
  • husband comes downstairs sideways (why is the defensive posture always *sideways*?) with his Blackberry in hand (and no other weapon)
  • husband jumps a little at the sight of you and baby

My husband was apparently so freaked out that he had dialed 911, but not yet pressed the “send” button.  I think it was a combination of his overactive imagination and the fact that last week the police were out here checking out our neighbor’s car windows that were smashed in.

We had a good little laugh at 5:30am, then put the baby back to bed!  Already too much excitement for one day!

You might also enjoy these related posts from Tree, Root, and Twig:

  1. In Which My Husband Runs Over Our Daughter with the Car
  2. The Dynamics of Having a Husband Who Travels
  3. In 15 Years, Some Nice Young Woman Will Thank Me

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  • Mom

    Oh I have such a VISUAL!!!!! xoxoxoxox :)

    Well then I’m sure you can imagine how big and threatening he must have looked! (ha!) :) sn

  • http://www.smallinklings.typepad.com/small_inklings/ Inkling

    Ha ha! Yes, I find that an odd type of hearing loss, that inability to hear a crying baby. Sounds like that neighborhood is taking it stoll on both of you.

    It’s the Y-chromosome that affects hearing. It has to be! :-) sn

  • http://thevasquez3.blogspot.com/ HolleeAnn

    VERY funny!! really that is good stuff!

    I think he learned to scan the upstairs first! :) sn

  • http://www.lifenut.com/blog gretchen from lifenut

    Hysterical!

    Hey – thanks for stopping by!! I love your blog! sn

  • http://www.evidently.org Wende

    Oh my. As funny as it is, it frightening that where you’re living has put you all on such heighten alert.

    And it IS the Y chromosome… because IZ slept through all my throwing up, on the hour, for MONTHS when I carried G.

    I’m trying to keep in good spirits about our neighborhood, even though I prop a chair underneath the front doorknob when my husband’s out of town! Oh, and about the Y chromosome, I think it might also inhibit the sense of smell required to detect poopie diapers. I’m just sayin’…;) sn

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