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Mental Upchuck

Posted by on Apr 6, 2008 in Motherhood, Personal, Travel | 4 comments

Oh, it’s the mood, people.  It’s the mood that made me type that post title!

Here’s my week in list form:

- a woman in my neighborhood has flagged me down twice this past week as I’ve been driving around.  Both times she asked for a ride to the corner Shell station.  Both times she asked me for money (and both times was very polite when I said, “sorry”).  Both times she had some sort of marks from a recent altercation.  She has told me that she lives with her son, who is abusing her.  She says he leaves her in the house all day with no food, no car, no phone.  The second time I gave her a ride to the gas station, I noticed that she had a hospital ID cuff on her wrist.  I am not good at this sort of thing – I don’t know what to make of it!  I did notice that when she got out of my car, she was looking around a little nervously and would not go in to the station’s store (she said she was going in to use the phone).  I’m going to formulate some kind of plan, and I’ve been keeping my eye out for her.  Any suggestions as to how to help her would be greatly appreciated!

- my husband went to Salt Lake City this weekend with daughter M11.  They are stuck because they’re flying “standby” and can’t get 2 seats yet.  I’m getting tired of (a) my husband traveling so much and (b) him getting STUCK when he travels!!  I need him to be home because I need the stability of him being here, and I need the help!  I need my partner!  He needs to be home because he’s terribly behind on work.  Clearly our needs aren’t very in sync for his eventual arrival, and I’m trying not to be grumpy about that.

- anyway, it’s my turn to leave!  I’m flying to California on Thursday (with baby, of course) to see my family!  Yipee!

- this week I attended the first meeting of a book club that is new to me.  It was awesome.  I think I’ve waited my whole adult life to meet women in the church who not only share my values and beliefs, but also my tolerance in literature.  This group is NOT shy and does NOT steer away from controversy and content in their reading choices.  I think that’s a big pocket of fresh air I just inhaled!

- a few days ago we had a characteristically windy day here, and as daughter H14 was getting into our Suburban at the grocery store, a gust of wind carried the car door away from her, and it slammed into the pretty, new, blue Toyota Corolla parked next to us!  Even set the alarm off and everything!  I got out, and sure enough, there were two sizeable scuff marks (but no dents).  I was shaking like a leaf – I wasn’t really sure what to do.  We waited for about 15 minutes, but I needed to get home to wait for the bus with my other kids on it!  I left a very shaky note to the driver, then spent probably another 5 minutes trying to figure out how to affix it to the car.  (I settled on rolling up the note and using a hairtie to secure it to the door handle!).  In the note I included a sincere apology, my name and phone number.  I got the car’s license plate, make, model, color, and I took two pictures of the marks with my cell phone camera.  I tried to cover all my bases!  I was still really upset, though, because you NEVER know which way these things can go!  Fortunately, it was a woman who called me back, and she was almost laughing over the whole thing.  I think she was surprised that someone even bothered to leave a note!  She thanked me for being so concerned, said there was no damage, and to just forget about it.  Yes, I have the message saved.  Because like I said, you just never know about these kinds of things!

- it’s 10:13 and daughter H14 is still up doing homework.  I want to tell her to just go to bed and “deal” with whatever happens in regards to her homework.  Seriously, she’s been working on projects and homework all weekend!  Sometimes I think they work these kids so darned hard.  I want her to be mentally healthy and a well-rounded kid, and if that means that she doesn’t get perfect scores on all homework or tests, then so be it!

-  here’s a random question for you:  what is the “number” you’ll tolerate on the thermostat in your house?  How low/high do you go before using the heat/air.  I’ve decided that once my house reaches 77, I’m turning on the AC!  But I wonder if native Houstonians have a higher tolerance, and I’m showing my yeller-bellied Westerner stripes by keeping it so cool in my house.  :)

- I forgot to post a follow up blog about my cartwheeling.  If you missed the previous brief mention, then no biggie.  I just wanted to say that last Sunday we started a random acrobatic extravaganza in our living room.  Yes, we’re strange that way.  The kids were doing summersaults all over the place, and my husband thrilled them all with his own big ol’ summersault.  I decided to up the ante and say, “Well I can do a cartwheel!”  My husband seemed amused by this big fat lie and my kids murmured to themselves, “Yeah, right!”  Well, I could not be doubted in such a fashion, so I cleared the way (the biiiiiig way!) and TAAAA-DAAAA, executed a (may I say) perfect cartwheel!  The look on my son’s face was totally worth the tiny fear I had of pulling a dozen muscles – his mouth was WIDE open, as were his eyes.  Then he yelled (kind of like the kid on the trike in The Incredibles) ”That was totally awesome!”  In fact, my whole family erupted in huge cheers and laughter.  My husband was dumbstruck – he really didn’t think I could do it!  But I did.  Oh, yes I did.  And nothing even got pulled!  (or sprained…or bruised…or tweaked)

- we broke out of Suburbia yesterday and drove into what Texas calls its “hill country.”  No foolin’ – it was actually really pretty.  I think I owe the experience its own post; I will write soon.

- i also want to write a little about the semi-annual meeting my church holds in Salt Lake City.  The Spring conference was this weekend, and it was wonderful.  I hope to share a few of my thoughts on that later.

- as I’ve been typing this, I’ve been waiting for my baby to cry.  That’s because I put him to bed at 8:30.  Just put. him. to. bed.  No screaming, no rocking, no extra nursing, no ibuprofin.  Just to sleep.  Surely he wouldn’t make it that easy on me tonight?  Because although the mid-night visits with him have been getting better, it has still been taking me 1-2 hours to get him to sleep in the first place.  Hmmm…we’ll see.

Ok.  That’s enough for now.  I just needed to purge.  Sorry, I think that’s what you get when my husband has been gone for the last six days – me, in a house, with short people.  It leaves me with a lot of things to tell to no one!  Thanks for reading!

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  • http://thevasquez3.blogspot.com/ HolleeAnn

    this was such a wonderfully wordy post! what a read, thanks!

    my AC goes on when it hits 78 in the house. you are not alone!

    as for the woman and the abuse. please be VERY careful. pray about it and follow your gut. i got too involved once and it could have been bad news for me and my family. YOU are the only mom your kids have sooo keep that in mind when “helping” people. your state/city should have some resources for you. maybe call the polic station and get some emergency phone numbers for her and the next time she flags you down, give her one last ride and say goodbye by oferring her the only help you are able to give her from now on…the numbers. i know this may feel harsh but honestly you can only do so much.

    Thanks for reading the whole post…it was definitely a “purging” experience. :) As for the advice…I do appreciate it. There’s something a little fishy about the whole thing, that’s why I haven’t jumped in with all guns a’blazin’. I need to really think it through because, as you say, I have a greater stewardship with my family. sn

  • http://www.evidently.org Wende

    Yeah, I agree with HolleeAnn about being careful. However, in my experience—giving out numbers isn’t going to work. You would be better off to refer this to a professional. I’d try calling the Police. They will most likely refer you to a social service to report the abuse. But as careful as you need to be, it’s imperative that you act.

    It’s quite possible, that she is in fact, NOT abused and that she suffers from some sort of dementia. If this is the case, giving her numbers won’t help—she won’t use them. If she is actually abused, making those calls can be dangerous for her. While it’s tricky business, I would really encourage you to call your authorities.

    All calls made to any social service can be confidential. Just be sure to ask that it is. They need your name and your location for records, but it’s never released to the family. And when a visitation is made, they usually obscure the facts, “several people have reported” kind of thing, so that it doesn’t sound like one person. This being said, unless it’s a clear case of abuse, their hands are often tied unless they get several reports in! So, your call may be the call they need to act.

    She clearly needs help—and you can safely intervene without getting involved. I’ve been doing this for a really long time (you’d be surprised what walks through a church’s door!) and every time I’m freaked out to call. And every time, the social workers are relieved and thankful that I did.

    Ok, enough from me.

    Your experience is very valuable here. I will consider everything you suggested and take action. Thanks!! sn

  • http://www.blarneygirlblog.blogspot.com blarneygirl

    Did R and M11 get home ok? I said a little prayer last night that all would be well.

    My “number” is around 77 depending on just how stinking humid it is. I get cold easily so anything below that and I’m freezing even if it is hot outside. I buck the myth that fat chicks get hot easily!

    CARTWHEEL! You are the woman!! I pulled something just thinking about it!! LOL

    I’m glad you were able to break free from the clutch of suburbia and see a little green and a few wild flowers. I love this time of year when the Bluebonnets and Indian Paint Brushes are in full bloom.

    How did E’s sleep schedule go? Fingers crossed he stayed asleep for a while before waking for his midnight feeding! Fingers crossed he’s asleep right now. I’m trying to type softly so as not to disturb. :D

    I know I updated you on everything else, but i’ve just gotta say – that last sentence made me laugh out loud (which may or may not have woken the baby!). :) sn

  • http://www.smallinklings.typepad.com/small_inklings/ Inkling

    Aww, a sign that life is approaching normalcy again. The baby sleeping, I mean. I would call the local women’s shelter and ask for advice on the neighbor–they should know how to handle that situation. I am so very impressed by that cartwheel–I never did learn how to do them and I’ve had a lifelong complex because of it.

    I used to be able to do a roundoff, too, but I was way too chicken to attempt it in the living room! :) sn

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