This is Your Brain on Walmart

Two weeks ago I took baby Eli shopping, just like I’ve done a million times before.  Only, I made a total ROOKIE mistake that day – I grabbed a cart without the “shelf” on the bottom!  How on earth can a mom shopping for a family of 7, with a toddler who takes up the entire top rack of the cart AND a diaper bag that takes up a chunk of the cart interior, possibly fit everything in/on/under the cart without that little shelf??  Oh, I was so annoyed with myself.  I had to re-situate all the groceries a few times during the fun 60+ minutes of our shopping trip.

After I unloaded the towering pile of groceries onto the check-out conveyor belt, I set two 1gallon cartons of apple juice on that metal cap at the end of the conveyor belt.  My intention was to scoot the juice onto the belt once the checker had gotten through the first bunch of groceries, giving me some room to finish up at the end and put the little divider bar down.  Only, she was filling bags up so quickly (because, you know, apparently Walmart checkers are trained to only put in three items per bag.  argh.) that I had to scoot up and start playing shopping bag Tetris with my groceries and the cart.

Fast forward through loading cart, unloading cart into car, driving home, unloading car, putting groceries away, and…and…no apple juice.  After a quick check of the receipt, I saw that at least I had never paid for the juice, which reminded me that I had of course left the juice on the metal end of the check-out belt.  Der.

So then YESTERDAY, I at least had the good sense to get a cart with a bottom shelf for another long-haul shopping trip.  And I stuffed that bottom shelf with plenty of items – cat food, cat litter, huge boxes of kleenex, and a 24pack of toilet paper.  When I got to the check-out lane, I was careful to unload absolutely everything, get everything on the conveyor belt, I was dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s.

I got home, started putting everything away, and realized there was NO TOILET PAPER.  Okay, Stacey, search the old mental database.  I know I put it under the cart.  I know I didn’t leave anything in the cart when I returned it to the parking lot corral.  I know it wasn’t still in the car.  I checked the receipt, and I hadn’t paid for it.  Which reminded me that I had never even put it on the conveyor belt!!!  It must have fallen off somewhere in the store!!

So apparently yesterday people in my Walmart were walking around a big, misplaced pack of toilet paper hanging out on the floor of aisle 4 (or 1, or 8…we were all over the place!).  Maybe next to it they found a little chunk of my brain, too.

You might also enjoy these related posts from Tree, Root, and Twig:

1. There’s a Monkey in My Walmart
2. Farewell, Little Brain Cell
3. Brain Drain

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