She Comes By It Honestly

First of all, I know you’re reading this, Mom, and just so you know – you’re not allowed to comment on this post.  You are, however, allowed to snicker as much as you like.

Here it is:  I have a daughter who talks like a Twitter stream.  For those of you not familiar with Twitter, it’s a site that allows you to give updates in 140 characters or less.  And although many updates are useful or interesting, some of them are random, woefully mundane, or just plain confusing.

And that’s how my daughter communicates with me on a regular basis.

“My nose itches.”

“I read a book today.”

“I like meatballs.”

And you have to understand, these statements are never in response to questions like, “How does your nose feel?” or “What did you do today?” or “What would you like for dinner?”  Usually – almost always, actually – her statements are interjected into totally unrelated conversations, or otherwise blurted out in the midst of total silence.

It’s driving me insane.

My mother will tell you (but she won’t, because remember, Mom, you are NOT to comment on this post!) that I was exactly like this as a child.  And my husband will tell you (but he won’t, ’cause he never reads my blog anyway), that I can be sorta like this as an adult.  But none of that matters now, because now I’M the audience.  I’M the one who has to sift through all the data to figure out what’s important and what is safe to just shrug at.

I have always had an open-door policy in terms of communication with my kids.  I take great pride in that, and it has helped to foster very close relationships with each of them.

That’s why it’s so hard for me to have patience with my daughter’s lack of filter between her brain and her mouth.  I don’t want to miss anything important, and I want her to feel valued and heard, so I listen.  To everything.  And then pan like a miner for the important nuggets of information.

In fairness to her and out of preservation for my sanity, I have started talking to her about this “quirk” of hers.  I am so grateful she feels safe enough to utter every tiny thought and inkling to me, but I do think it’s important that she learn the value of her words.  Because in the “real” world, people won’t be as accommodating when trying to parse her meaning from a stream of thoughts.

Do you think it’s fair of me to suggest she start really thinking – and CHOOSING – before she speaks?  I don’t mean on the big things, the things that would affect her well-being or quality of life.  On matter such as those, I think she should speak her mind with her shoulders back and her standing on her tippy-toes.  But maybe everyone doesn’t need to know when her nose itches.  You see what I mean?

Alright, now that I’ve thought about it, you can go ahead and comment, Mom.  Because if you had to deal with this for 18 years of my life, the least I can do is let you say your “Amen”s now.  That, and thank you for not taping my mouth shut.

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