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Our Family’s Decision About Online Multi-Player Games

Posted by on Aug 4, 2009 in Motherhood, Personal | 5 comments

Summertime.  In Houston.  Not a lot of outdoor activities to choose from. 

As a result, my kids – particularly the 12, 11, and 8 year olds – have spent an inordinate amount of time on the computer.  We began our vacation by setting a timer on the desk and insisting that they end their turn when the bell rang.  Not even a week into summer, we chucked the timer and I just tried to keep a general sense of when one of them had been on for “long enough.”

They’ve spent most of their summer hours playing Pirates of the Caribbean online, an interactive, multi-player game based on the Disney movies.  I have no major objection to the game itself – I need to make that point very clear.  What I *do* have a problem with is how the interactive, multi-player nature of the game seem to draw my kids into these relationships with unknown players and steal hours and hours of the day away as they go on different quests and adventures with them.  I have lost count of how many times I’ve called for the kids to get off the computer and heard in response, “But (so-and-so) is on and we’re in the middle of something and I just can’t let them down!”

It’s been nagging at my conscience that this is not a good fit for our family and how we should be choosing to spend our time.  I sat down with my kids tonight and expressed my concerns.  It is a testimony to how much they trust me that they went right into the den and deleted the game from our computer.  Even after I told them that I would compromise and allow them to play it – on a restricted basis – until school starts.

They are a bit upset, and I completely understand that.  They’ve invested a lot of time on the game, and according to them, they had “gotten so far.”  I’m sure there are loads of people (maybe even you!) who think I’m crazy to be so concerned about the nature of interactive, multi-player online games.    All I can say is that I when I receive impressions about any issues regarding my children, it’s my responsibility to act on them.

It’s obvious that with all of my own activity online, I’m not against computers or the internet (though even I could stand to truly re-evaluate my hours spent in virtuality).  I’m just finding that in terms of kids and family, it’s so important to make sure that nothing comes between the time we ought to be spending with each other, especially nothing so impermanent as faceless characters on the internet.

You might also enjoy these related posts from Tree, Root, and Twig:

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  • http://grameesporch.blogspot.com/ Gramee

    when my grandson decided he wanted to play “xbox live”
    {his dad plays all the time} oh yes they allowed him. he is not given the pass code and is only allowed to play with his uncle in Utah. he still says “its not fair” some days. complains he is old enough to play online. but we know he is safe.

    and he is. because we know who he plays with.

  • http://www.herewegomoms.com/ Erin @ Closing Time

    You are a wise mom, and it is a testimony to how much your kids trust you! I remember my mom having similar talks with me, and because we had such a good relationship I was usually quite willing to trust her judgment in similar situations. Good job!!

  • http://blog.digitalroom.com Luigi from Digital Room

    Wow. I really like this post. First of all, I think that your reaction was normal. You’re a mom and it is very natural that you react that way especially when it comes to disciplining your kids. I agree that playing too much computer games only steal the quality time you could’ve spent with them. But, I admire your kids for deleting the game from the computer. It’s a sign of how well you are raising them. It’s upsetting for them but doing that only shows how much they value what you are telling them. Cheers to a great mom like you.:)

  • http://blog.uprinting.com Louise | UPrinting

    I’m actually more impressed with how your kids handled it. If this were to happen to some spoiled-8-year-old kid, he would most likely have tantrum attacks. Then you probably have to inject some tranquilizers just to calm him. (it happens, believe me)
    It is kinda annoying that kids nowadays prefer to be in front of the computer rather than go outside and try out camping or something. It’s not a very healthy hobby, and quite expensive to be honest.
    I have to say, congratulations to you. You are one good mother, and your kids really do trust you. :)

  • http://www.glasshalffullgal.blogspot.com Glass_Half_Full

    This is great. My kids haven’t gotten ‘totally’ into the computer games as the PC locks up fairly often. They do get good experience and learn the key board and how to manipulate the mouse, and most games are educational or simple coloring type fun.

    Though at six and seven the day is coming soon. You did great and your kids seemed to take it so well! We limit computer time, and then they are required to participate in “creative play” which includes playing together or on their own and using their imaginations.

    It also includes playing games together. Kudos to you!

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