Whose Labor Is It Anyway?

I rarely watch TLC’s “A Baby Story,” I guess because I’ve been through it five times myself, and I don’t need any dramatic reminders of all that childbirth entails.  I happened to land upon the show today, though, and the episode I watched had me both angry and horrified.

The couple – first-time parents – had opted to partner with a midwife for a water birth.  I missed some of the details because…well…I’m a compulsive channel-flipper, but when I next saw the woman, she was in active labor and begging her husband to get her an epidural.  He, the doula, and the midwife kept stalling her.  At least the husband had the compassion to explain that he thought she would later regret having gotten an epidural.  The midwife just gaffawed at the woman behind her back, telling the camera, “I’ve NEVER seen someone come in after just a few hours, 2 centimeters dillated, already ready to give up!”

The woman kept repeating how much pain she was in, she kept saying “someone please help me, nobody’s listening to me,” and it really seemed like nobody was.  At one point she told the doula, “I need help!” and the doula answered, “You’re going to have to help yourself.”

I was just astounded that this was happening.  The show sprinkled in some post-labor interviews, and the woman confessed that she was really upset no one was listening or abiding by her wishes for pain relief.  She did not, in fact, regret her choice for pain relief.  What a heart-breaking first labor experience to have!

Finally, finally!, they allowed her to have an epidural.  The doula stood to the side and told the camera, “You know, some ladies come in with just the best intentions, but then a natural childbirth just isn’t for everyone.  And you know,” (insert totally condescending voice here) “it’s o-kay.”

Oh, this whole thing just got my blood boiling.  This was not some cheesy horror movie where one character says to the other:  “No matter what you hear in there, don’t come in!”  I mean, birth plans CHANGE – it’s so hard to anticipate how everything will go down.  But first and foremost, someone should be listening to woman in labor!

I’m glad I’ve already been through all this five times before, because I’m telling you, if I was a first-time mom and saw that show, I’d be totally terrified of my own labor day.

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